Saturday, March 07, 2015

The Soulmate

Every here and there, usually girls, or women in particular, discussed amongst them about soulmate. Regardless married or not, the topic about finding your soulmate has always been fascinating.

In my case, it has always been the "it" topic during sleepovers during our adolescent years. It completely stopped since i-don't-know-when.

Maybe we grew tired talking about soulmates and preferred to focus in the present. Maybe my married friends have found their soulmate and therefore chose not to talk to our single friends, including me. Usually, the sentence will be like "you'll just know, if he is your soulmate."

I myself was very curious about this whole soulmate thing. Kept on figuring if past ex boyfriends, flings, crushes, or anyone who has walked in and out of my life, could be my soulmate. The whole concept of soulmate was how this person, really fits you and accepts all of your flaws inside out. I eventually gave up searching for one and followed what others will say "you'll just know it".

Then I stumbled into my friend's Path account. She posted this definition on soulmate, and intrigued me to flashbacks on my own definition of soulmate. I could not help to feel in such awe reading this short description below. It sends chills down my spine - in a good way, thinking, have I found mine?

The first 3 lines were the typical definition that I defined soulmate. But the fourth and fifth line was different. It got me thinking real hard. The line reads :

"No, actually they don't make you a better person. You do that by yourself because they inspire you".

The whole soulmate concept that I had before, where I endlessly figuring if previous lovers could actually be my soulmate, was wrong after all. They did shaped me into someone better - good and bad. But they don't inspire me. Not that I was not inspired by them at all, not that they didn't leave a significant mark in my life.

But they don't, let me tell you again, they don't inspire me, as an individual, to be a better person because I want to. It's merely because I want to be a better person for them.

Then, I, naively started thinking, with all the major changes that I made to myself - quit smoking, quit drinking alcohol, doing a healthy lifestyle, was in touch with Allah more doing my salat religiously and started to learn to cook, and doing better adult things by myself - this has nothing to do with anyone. I just want to do it. For myself.

How does this happen?

I was inspired by somebody. Somebody that I knew not too long ago. Somebody that make me feel whole as a person. It's like, if past lovers shaped and mould me to a better woman, this person gave the "finishing effect" and thus polished me the best version of myself.

Scary as it may seem, could he be my soulmate? Up to this day, thinking about him send chills. Am not very sure, but deep down, I do hope if he is. Well at the end of the day, like my friends said, "you'll know it if he's the one"


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries (As Written By An Aries) | YourTango

Found this interesting article about the Aries.

And now, I'm guessing what's on your mind right now.

Yes!! I'm a sucker for astrological signs even in my adulthood (altho I no longer takes this seriously like I used to back then).

Can totally relate to everything written about me - as an Aries!

Here's the link just in case you're wondering about this specific species

13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries (As Written By An Aries) | YourTango

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Best Sex and the City Quote

"Yup, like now, they get you so high."

Call me hopeless romantic, but I really like the feeling I am into right now.

I'm glad I am no longer insecure to many insecurities.
I'm glad I am no longer afraid to fall in love again.
I'm glad I have no more doubts on loving someone even if it means I will have my heart broken.

Because I knew, if it's meant to be, it will be.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Fifty Shades of..what?

Fifty Shades of grey has hit the theatres 2 weeks ago. But not in Indonesia. Boo!

I actually had predicted that this movie will have a lot of controversy from many religious organisations here and managed to deal with my disappointment really well when news got around informing, it did really got banned from entering Indonesia.

Well, despite reading the movie's reviews from various sources, it got me really curious to watch. To actually know what this fuss is all about.

But before I watched the movie, I equipped myself with ver well knowledge on BDSM, the erotic practices played in the movie. It was quite surprising though to know that there ARE people out there who actually find this kind of thing pleasing. Not judging here, but me,  call me very naive, I prefer the old school way.

So yesterday was just like any lazy Sunday at home. I decide to spend the night before bed, watching it. Tried googling here and there to stream of it online, only to find so many broken links. The only link that I could find was a very low resolution quality video. What the heck, I'm still watching it!

Well, throughout the movie, I was in a turbulence of emotions. I, being the girl next door, who can be considered hoplessly romantic, was into these kinda love story where the college student fell for the young billionaire. Almost close to my real life experience, no? Haha.

Anw, when it comes to the explicit sexual content part, I was quite surprised, as in... is this it? Just like that? I mean, after watching the whole movie, my take out was, "what the fuss is all about actually with this movie banned from Indonesia?"

Are they afraid that people will start practicing the scenes?

Are they afraid it will reduce the norms and values of Indonesian?

I really don't understand. I think these people need to open their mind to these kind of things. Maybe my reaction was like this because I am very well equipped on BDSM. Every knowledge about it I thoroughly understand and have seen images more explicit than that. Hence I don't see these scenes as disturbing as I predicted. 

Well, what do you think?

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Be careful how you introduce yourself to the world

I stumbled this image on someone's instagram yesterday. It hit me really hard and thought I had to post about it.

Last week was a little crazy with work, hence the lack of posts in this blog. In between working as an entrepreneur for my business, Infinite Communications, I was called by a dear ex colleague to be a respondent for his upcoming project. I thought it was cool to actually meet up and see what was this project is all about. He said, I fit perfectly as his client's target market.

And so, I went to meet him one morning over a cup of coffee. He introduced me briefly about his project and his reason to interview me as a respondent, for a travel insurance company. What tickles me here was that, I was considered a high traveler based on the category segmented by the client.

"What, me? A high traveler?" I said to him.

"Yes, I saw your pictures on Facebook, Instagram and Path.. you were out of the country and city so many times last year!" He commented.

I tried to digest every word he said. It is true.

Last year, I started my journey to Bali for work in January. And then to Saudi Arabia for Umrah. A week later, I was off to Bangkok with my girlfriends. Fast forward couple of months later, I got the chance to go to Karimunjawa for work somewhere in June and July. I was in back Bali for Bali Marathon in September, then back to Bali again for Infinite Communications outing in October. The following month, I went to Shanghai and Bali to attend a friend's wedding.

3 countries, 1 trip to Karimunjawa and 4 trips to Bali in the whole of 2014!

Then he asked me again where I went in 2013.

I went to Singapore twice in February for my best friend's wedding and in September for F1 and went to Vietnam with my travel buddies.

He then asked me again where I went in 2012.

I went to Singapore, Hong Kong and Lombok. In between I went to Bali and Bangka for work.

"There you go... and you never considered you are a high traveler?"

Well, what he said was true. After looking back at all of my trips lately. I must say that 2014 made it to the top for the most trip out from Jakarta.

Going back from there, I also contacted 2 of my friends for work related stuffs. Since I was not in touch with them for so many years, both of them said "how are your, darling... you're always traveling!". The other one said "I can tell what a good life you have, you're always traveling"

Yup. There you go. No more justification. I was considered a high traveler, when I don't see myself as one.

I never, ever thought I would present myself to the world as a traveler. I mean, compared to some of my friend's who's life is always on the road, my trip seems nothing. But to others, I was always traveling.

I can't help it. I love traveling. I love exploring to different cuisines, cultures and stuffs. I love to be inspired when I was out from Jakarta. Most of my family start to be cynical because of my trips. They said I should be saving money and get a down payment for an apartment or purchase a new car.

I don't need that now. I have a car of my own, although it's not new, bit it can still take me to places. I don't need an apartment because I still live with my parents, but I did save for it.

All I know is that, I worked hard for my travels and will keep on traveling. Traveling has became part of my life to get more inspirations. One day, I will tell my kids that what shaped me to be who I am today because of my travels.

So, anyone plan to travel with me one day?


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Sunday, February 08, 2015

Which destination shall I go?

Every year, me and my high school friends would travel out of the country to just reunite with one and another after 360 days of being apart and hardly ever catch up on a regular basis.

We were all so engrossed with our lives that we decided that the only time we can really have a quality time together is by traveling.

So usually, we bought a promo airplane ticket a year in advance. That, making us already knew where will be heading to - a place that we are looking forward to.

Unfortunately this year, me and my friends, haven't got any idea where to go. Which leaves me wandering around, have we ran out of places to go? Definitely not. Then what's the problem?

The real problem lies with me. See, I am planning to go for a solo traveling this year. This is suppose to be MY trip last year, but, due to so many insecurities, I dropped the plan and decide to do it this year.

Now, with solo traveling coming, I have to pay extra attention to my finances. Why? Because, since this is my own trip, it has to be a place that I really, really wanna go. Not just go somewhere random for the sake of traveling on my own.

Which leaves me to which destination shall I go? I have 3 options though, Japan, Turkey and New York.

All of the 3 destinations required quite a lot of money for sure. But I don't mind splurging it since this is my very own trip. Hmm.. kinda confused here...

Although deep down, I am very keen with New York. New york has always been the place that I wanna visit. Sigh, to pursue or not to pursue, is the question here.

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

New York fever

I'm having this hot flush whenever I saw pictures of New York City especially during the winter season now.

Well, basically I'm all chill with NYC after I got over the whole "will wait and see when I set my foot there". BUT, because somebody is going there, like literally on his flight to NYC, I'm getting the shivers. It's like "i'm inspired again to go to NYC again and I think I'm able to go there this year!"

Well, let's see what story he has in store about NYC that makes my heart skips a beat!

It's story about NYC, my favourite city coming from my favourite man :) Couldn't get any better, right?

What's cooking at home Part 3

It's raining out there for the whole weekend and makes me even lazier to embrace the traffic. The whole getting out of the house thing is a HUGE effort haha!

Anyways, inspired by the weather, so I decided to cook a comfort food perfect for the weather, soup. First dish that came in mind was fish ball soup and in between cooked sauteed kale with garlic and sweet and sour chicken fillet.

So far, my family loved the dishes that I cooked. Just need to improve bit by bit to enhance the taste and pay attention to details on the ingredients. But hey, baby steps right?

So here's the picture of my cooking :

Thursday, January 29, 2015

What's cooking at home Part 2

I forgot to post my cooking last weekend. Actually, I found cooking some sort of my new favourite past time. I mean, it's rewarding because you never knew how much of a hidden talent you have.

So, last weekend, despite a failed attempt on both dishes, the taste was good. Just need to brush up on the skills and read carefully on the cooking directions.

Cooked 3 dishes but only 1 was succesful, which is the stir fry green beans with scrambled egg. The other 2 dishes was kinda failed.

Firstly I cooked Stir Fry green beans with chilli or what the Indonesians called it Cabe Garam. It's suppose to be fluffy and crispy as it was soaked in flour. But alas, I did not soak it long enough in A LOT of flour so, basically, it looked as if it was not battered at all. 

The second dish is chicken fillet with lemon butter sauce. It's suppose to be creamy, but then again, I put too little butter so it was watery. Although it tastes good, the sauce was spilled over the stove due to my clusmsiness. So, I end up with having very little sauce for the chickens. Sigh.

Let's hope this weekend I can serve a better dish.

Here's a picture of my cooking.


Thursday, January 22, 2015

My best friend's farewell

Last night, I went for my best friend's farewell. She got a scholarship to puruse a Master's degree in New Zealand. Well, she's one lucky girl. And come to think about it, she did pur her heart's out in achieving this scholarship.

This gives me an inspiration -  to pursue the same thing as her - getting a Master's degree. Actually, for the past one year, I've already know what major to take if I were to enroll for one. It should be anything to do with Entrepreneurship and Digital. So far, I have been eyeing on NYU Stern and recently, Babson College.

Well, it took quite a huge amount of time searching for scholarships and honestly, I am not prepared yet. I still have some stuffs to do for Infinite to make it more settle.  I want my company to grow in front of my very eyes, and how I can see myself in a very stable state. Then only I can start to actually focus on getting a Master's.

Other than that, I'm also very eager to get married. With who? I don't know. Although I did, have some feelings for this sweet guy I met last month and was totally infatuated. That is why I'm actually testing the waters, whether I am actually in love with him or with his "ideal self". Will get back to this topic one day.

back to my friend's farewell, we had a nice dinner in a Thai restaurant called Tom Tom and head off for karaoke. Come to think about it, it was past midnight when we decided to end the day. Back in college, it was midnight when we started leaving the house! I wonder where I got all of those energy!! Sigh.. age does not lie.

It was a great night, although I did not enjoy 100% as I was not too keen on singing. But with all the anger and mood swings and PMS stuffs I'm facing, it's a good distraction.

I'm sure gonna miss her with my late night drives after "arisans" and also talking just about everything to her. Well, 2 years is a short year and I'm pretty sure that each and everyone of us, will move on to something better.

Here's the pictures from last night. Total fun!

Monday, January 19, 2015

What's cooking at home?

Last weekend, I decided to stay at home, both Saturday and Sunday.
I'm kinda not into going out these days mainly because I'm sick of the traffic and looking at pretentious people at the mall.

Jakarta is lack of weekend entertainment besides going to the cafe or mall. And I'm starting to feel really, really bored - unless there is a social gathering with my friends or an event to attend.

Anyway, staying at home on weekends wasn't a bad thing when you've already decide what to do. I've decided to cook something - as part of my 2015 resolution, which is to cook a meal for my family.

So on Friday night, after work, I whisked to the supermarket and got 2 types of veggies that I planned to cook : Broccoli and Bok Choy.

Well, the meal itself turns out good, although I still need some improvements here and there. But hey, it's relaxing, rewarding, and best of all adds one more new skill. Thinking of "getting ready" to be a real good "housewife" HAHA.

So, here's a picture of my dish for last weekend. Looking forward to cook an even better meal the following week.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

First Medical Check Up in 2015.


One of my 2015 New Year Resolution is to get a medial check up - just to make sure my body is healthy and being productive.

Yes, I made that visit yesterday. I finally plucked up the courage to have a USG Mamae to have an early breast cancer detection as I have been feeling some discomforts on my left breast for months. Yes, for months!! 

I was soo scared to death to go for a check up as I was not mentally prepared to hear the news - if it was bad. But turns out, the fear of hearing the outcome was overcome by my disoriented personality for the past few days. I was dazed and confused, unable to focus just by the thought of the check up itself. It was really disturbing. I was not even functioning like a normal person.

Thank God, I came across a promo in Eka Hospital that they had til end of Jan. The medical checkup package was a USG Mamae that includes a consultation from a surgeon. Looking at the very cheap price, I decided to just go for it.

My goodness. It was definitely a good day at all. The USG itself took only 15 mins, but it took forever! When I was inside the room together with the radiologist, I cannot help but not to look at the screen in front of me. Wild thoughts came across my mind as I saw black and white images of my internal breast anatomy. I don't understand a thing the doctor wrote on the screen and don't even dare to ask. U just keep on talking to distract myself.

After the USG, I had to wait for another 5 hours to see the surgeon. It was an agonising wait. When the time comes to see him, I was relieved that all is good. Phew!

This, has made me experienced the longest 15 mins of my life and the scariest 5 hours of waiting in uncertainty waiting for the results.

Monday, January 05, 2015

2015 resolutions revealed!

It did not take long for me to actually write down my 2015 resolutions. I’ve learnt that it’s not about how many resolutions that you wrote and how many you have achieved. But it’s about believing that humans have plans but at the end of the day, God has their own way of making us human’s plans work.

8 out of 11 resolutions in 2014 were fulfilled. But I realised that it should be something that is tangible. You know, putting actions into words and actually have a clear “documentation” of it.

So this year, it’s about making resolutions that are tangible and clear results should be seen. In random order my 2015 resolutions are :

1. Learn to read the Holy Qur’an
I think it’s about time for me to actually start learning to read the holy Qur’an in Arabic. Have been reading the translation version, but I just felt it was unfair of me of not wanting to break away from my comfort zone and learn to read it in the original language. This is called self-investment.

2. Solo traveling
My travel buddies and I have always come up with plans to travel to different places every year. Although traveling with your best friends can be fun, I realized that as we grew older, we have different styles of traveling. So, learning from this, I guess, I am going to start on an adventure to try solo traveling. Again this is breaking away from my comfort zone. The traveling still continues with friends but I would definitely add one more trip of my own. I haven't got any plans yet. But we’ll see. That trip definitely gotta be really awesome.

3. Medical Check Up
Health has always been an issue for me lately. Tried being healthy and end up with dengue fever. So this time, I’m all about being health conscious paying more attention to what I eat, and of course doing some course of medical check up. My plans are to have a cervical injections and USG Mamae along with the regular blood check up. I think when you hit 30 you just have to compromise with your body that they are slowly adjusting to be degrading in the health sector.

4. Better running time
Since my first run in 2013, my timing has been getting better and better. But I was stuck in the same 8.45km/h pace lately. I wanted to be better with my timing just to prove to myself that all those practices were paid off and nothing can stop me from doing that. To achieve better timing means more runs and workouts. More workouts means having a healthier body. Ain’t obsessed with the numbers of the scales any more but I just want to get back my mojo and sex appeal.

5. Invest in gold
The last time I invest in gold, I end up selling it. I think this time I should be more prepared with my future savings and investments. I was totally inspired by Sam, my host in Shanghai. He taught me to be thrifty, and be a big saver instead of a big spender. No one is going to care with the clothes you wear, the car that you drive if you bought it in installments. We are now looking at how big your career is and when you are going to purchase the next big thing – a home – of your own. I should be targeting on that one, soon. I’m also looking forward to the wedding budget I should be paying close attention to. Ain’t using daddy’s money for sure!

6. Serious relationships
Now, this is crucial. This point here, has been there since 2012 and it never get any better. The last big “heart” investment when I fall really head over heels with Captain, remember him? And was pretty down when things didn’t go the way I wanted it to be. Met guys here and there but it’s just not getting me any closer to be “in a relationship” kinda thing. Until, I met him – on December 10th 2014. I just finally get to feel those butterflies in my tummy, those giddy topsy turvy feeling and suddenly have my hopes up high. I wanted to take it slow, so as not to get myself too involved and be disappointed. But I just have this feeling that things will work out fine. Amen to that!

7. Learn to cook and prepare a meal
It was a blessing in disguise when I was sick and recovering from dengue fever and typhoid. Why? Because during that time, it’s when I learn to cook my own meal. It felt good actually, and it inspired me to learn to cook new dishes – to prepare myself to be a real woman who can cook and prepare a meal for her family.

8. Bigger Infinite
If 2014 was the first year luck, I must say that the 2nd year should be bigger and better. I never thought I can achieve that kind of success for Infinite, and now, I’m even more optimist that I can, we can make it big for the sake of my future.

So I guess, 8 should be enough. Doesn't sound so ambitious right? Well, it’s not about the numbers but it’s about knowing that you have a plan for that year and knowing that you can achieve it

Besides 8 of the above, I also have some “unwritten” plans in regards to my personal well being. I have been constantly stressed out with issues revolving around my family and it has taken a toll to my mental health. Am not going to expose everything down here as it is way to personal.

My aim for 2015 with regards to my personal well being is to take a leap of faith and do this crazy out of the box consultation. I don’t know if it’s for the best, but you never know till you tried.


Saturday, January 03, 2015

Significant Moments of 2014

So 2014 has ended. Can I say that I had a great time back then? Absolutely. But, of course it was not an easy road down there. There were ups and downs, long turns, detours and stuffs.

I started of really bad in January, due to the office politic bad then. Hit rock bottom in February and decided to quit my corporate job for good. March and April was the time actually when I can finally start to see some rainbows. I went for Umroh and Bangkok all together in that month before joining full time in Infinite Communications. It was one of the most amazing and fulfilling thing to do when I finally get up on my feet to become an entrepreneur for my very own Infinite Communications.

Been to exciting places like Karimunjawa for work and short vacation, went to Bali back and forth 4 times, experience my first ever fall trip to Shaghai and did I mention that I was hospitalized for the infamous dengue fever?

So, yes, every hard work did paid off. I am also blessed with many new people I met along the way that inspired me so much – the Japanese clients, the friendly host in Shanghai and last but not least, the guy I actually did fell for in early December.

So, as always, it’s a lil too much to sum it all up the significant moments of 2014. But will try to squeeze it in here.

NSC. Bali. Deportation. TP. 24 hour Bali. Resignation. Dance Performance. Pocari Run. Umroh. Bangkok. Big 30. Gentlemen’s Corner. Halo Fit Run. Karimunjawa. Dengue Fever. Eka Hospital. Typhoid. Bali Marathon. Infinite Outing. Dunhill Filter. Lakesha Shakeera Rizki. The parents. Year End Party. DJ MAS. 136% target. The bestie. Lactacyd. Beer Garden.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

2014 achievements

It's that time of the year where I am looking back at the resolutions I made early this year. I know this year I have been into sooo many distractions that I actually realise my 2014 resolutions were not being kept til the last minute. Oh so not me!!

Thank God, I realise it quick before the year ends and speed through what I have missed out. I have learn that when you are in a company that always distracts you, you are nowhere near in achieving your goals. For me achieving something that I have been yearning is like having a plan.

I am that kind of person who cannot function without a plan. I just cannot go and walk freely without knowing what's ahead of me. This definitely puts me into perspective : people may want to distract you, but we just gotta stick to your own goals. Let God do the rest.

So here's a recap of my achievements so far :

1. Renovate room
Failed (again) to accomplish this but I have taken baby steps in contacting the contractor to do it in January once he finished his project.

2. Mutual funds
Will be making arrangements for the banks tomorrow on new year's eve.

3. Lose weight to 54kg
I realise that its not about the number on the scales but its more to being healthy inside out. I did achieved 54kg. Even 52kg - that was when I was down with dengue. So not good. So for next year, its focusing on being healthy and not skinny.

4. Traveling
Went traveling both work and vacation. Explored places I've never been such as Semarang, Karimun Jawa and Shanghai. In between I went to Bali 4 times this year ; January for work, September for Bali Marathon, October for outing and November for a friend's wedding. Also went to Bangkok for the second time after don't-know-how-many-years. Planned for a solo trip but did not manage to break my fear of traveling alone.

5. Went for Umroh
March was the time I dedicated myself to God. Was blessed I had the opportunity to go with my Mum, grandma and good friend. Indeed this spiritual journey has raised the bar between my relationship with God. And I cannot wait to have the second visit.

6. Quit drinking alcohol for good
It has been a good ride. I am absolutely sober. I am able to say NO to alcohol no matter how many people tried to persuade me. Am proud of this. So proud!

7. Healthy lifestyle
This is also another thing I am proud of myself. I joined more race this year and broke my own record each time. Had a routine run either once or twice a week. I even run when I am on vacation!

8. Serious relationship
Failed miserably on this one. My heart wasn't open for any new person in my life, except currently. Hopefully this one lasts! Amen!

9. Be the best daughter
I have not been having a good relationship with my father and I don't know how to fix it. I will try to be one for my Mum by actually taking care of her med needs. This has also taken quite a toll in my life and also my wallet. But hey, it's for my mother. Who cares?

10. Pay attention to wardrobe
Actually made small baby steps by purchasing clothes with sleeves. Will keep on doing it til I'm ready to cover up.

11. Making it big for Infinite
Did I mention I achieved 136% from the target? This is hugeee!! I am definitely excited to make more in 2015. Hard work definitely paid off.

So out of 11, I have achieved 8. Not bad. Damn you distractions. I shall NOT see you anymore in 2015!

A series of Christmas gatherings

I love Christmas! Although I don't celebrate Christmas because I am a Muslim, but I do enjoy the festivities Christmas has to offer. For me Christmas is like a holiday mood. And I have been eyeing to have a white Christmas holiday maybe in the next years.

Speaking of Christmas, it is also the time to gather with friends and families. You know, you sit down together and reflect on the past year and also looking forward for the upcoming year.

This year, I had 3 Christmas gatherings altogether with my friends. And what comes during Christmas gatherings are gift exchange! Yes, pretty much gift exchange has burnt a hole in my wallet. But hey, at least you get to do it once a year. So, a lesson for me to actually put a dedicated budget for this in 2015.

So, the first Christmas gathering is lunch at Loewy with my ex colleagues from DDB, whom I became best friends with. Having a group of girlfriends you can trust is like having the best support system. I'm so blessed to know them and we are actually looking forward to have another holiday next year! Super excited! I got a travel neck pillow. This seems perfect since my travel neck pillow is sooo hard and not comfortable at all.

The second Christmas lunch is at Waha Kitchen with my highschool/travel mates. This is also another good gathering because, each and everyone of us are super busy with out schedules and we hardly have any time to meet except for discussing the itinerary for an upcoming trip. We are still unsure where we are heading next year, but that won;t stop us from traveling together again. I got Captain America DVD.. Not sure why my friend bought in the first place. And not sure why I got it. But positive thinking, I need some time of to actually do anything except, watch DVD.

Last but not least was a Christmas dinner at AW Kitchen with my running buddies whom we called #entreprunners. Now this is funny. I am in a running group but late;y we haven't been running together. Except when there is a race coming up. Most of the time we are actually hanging out compared to running. Just love hanging out with them talking about being healthy but we are not close to being healthy - at all. But hey, at least I tried. And it works. I got a lunch box with a stationary bag. This is also a good gift. Desperately need both of it.

So there you go. So much for the festivities. Isn't Christmas the best time of the year?
Merry Christmas everyone!

Friday, December 26, 2014

Current feeling

2014 shall end very soon

My last post was in August 2014. That was like 4 months ago. And within 4 months, I've been through so many interesting and frustrating thing that has been going on in my life.

I've noticed that blog writing about my life keeps me on tracks. And helped me a lot to deal with feelings I can't share with people - or feelings that I 100% felt unsure to share it with people. I know this sounds so not me. The old Cintamia was all about being vocal on her feelings and can't wait to share it with people close to her.

But, things have changed. Even the closest friend, may judge you. And this feels kinds "hurtful". I don't want to be judged. I just want to be accepted just the way I am. But, I just can't. All of these thoughts have been wandering in my head and even before I share it to people, I always have this feeling that I WILL be judged afterwards.

So I decide to keep in to my own. And it's getting cray lately as I don't share it in my blog like I used to. Time was so tight lately with work and family issues. So hence why the very little post.

Anw, I can't believe that 2014 is coming to and end. I'm pretty content with what I went through. it started in the most bizarre and painful way in January to February. Was eased don in March when I went for Umrah and was relaxed for my holiday to Bangkok in April. Come May - June, it was all about work. July was the time again for fasting and working in a remote island of Karimunjawa. August - September was the wake up call for me where my health has taken its toll. I was hospitalised fro dengue for the second time, and just right after recovering, i was down with typhoid.
It was hard getting back in track, but hey October has shown its light where I went to Bali with Infinite's team - the first company outing and in November, was back on track prepping for infamous #Bajakjkt race. Early December, I finally felt something that I haven't felt for so long. I was happy, and in love. Pretty much the same feeling came rushing and it was soo good as I thought I will never be able to love again after a series of rejections and being heart broken.

So what do you say? It is indeed a roller coaster ride - as always and I am thankful that God has plan all of this for me.

So what have I achieved in 2014? Had I accomplish all of my 2014 resolutions? Will reveal it in the next post.


Monday, August 18, 2014


It's been 6 months since I last wrote something in this blog. A place where for the past 3 years have been the only place I expressed my innermost and brutally honest feelings here.

But why 6 months? I don't know. I wish I knew the answer. I wish I could use the same lame excuse " oh i'm busy with work" or " so many things have been going on lately and I don't have any time to log in".

I wish.

But now here I am, opening and writing a something and I'm not going to make any empty promises to fill up this blog. I will just try to get out from my comfort zone, my busy life to make time and write something.

Here's what happened lately after my last post on February 25, 2014.

  1. I performed a hip hop dance at the Ice Palace in Lotte Avenue Shopping Centre.
  2. I went on a spiritual journey aka Umrah with my mum, my aunt-grandma and a good friend of mine.
  3. I went to an all girl vacation trip to Bangkok a week after my Umrah.
  4. I officially join Infinite Communications for good and will be my permanent source of income.
  5. I engaged in a healthy lifestyle where and form running buddies called #entreprunners . Ran a minimal 2x a week.
  6. Joined some races and will be going to Bali for a race.
  7. Back to the clubbing scene because of work up to December 2014.
  8. Tried pole dancing - and found out its not my thing. But I do have more respect to pole dancers after that.
  9. Tried a new sport called Freeletics and kinda like it. Joined their sweatcamp every Saturday. I've been to 3 camps already.
  10. Went to Karimunjawa for work 2x and did spend some good times there with my team. We call it post event vacation.
  11. Was politically literate now. I'm happy I did cast a vote for the Presidential Election this year and knew quite a lot from it.
  12. Has been iphone-less for 1 month because it just went dead. Now downgrading to Samsung, but will try to make it a temporary phone because I'm eyeing on the new Iphone 6.
  13. Trying to gain back my to die for body by adding more workouts and eating more healthy food. I just need to get back that self confidence again.

Phew, what a ride for the past 6 months. 
Speaking of that, usually I would review my new year's resolution to see how much I have progressed and I'm somehow disappointed with the results. Out of 11 resolutions, I've only achieved 3. Boohoo!

I have only myself to blame because I have not been focusing and having so many distractions. 

Damn , gotta work even harder.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Moment of Truth

Human make plans but God decides.
Manusia berencana, Tuhan menentukan.

I thought, I made a brilliant plan by focusing on my career in Cerebro as long as I can. But I guess, that was just my plan, but not Allah's. Things went from bad to worse since December 2013 with so many new regulations and of course new boss that I cannot work well with.

So, in the end, after a series of unfortunate events and never ending dramas, I tender my resignation letter as per 7 Feb 2014, which makes my physical date at work on 7 March 2014.

Well, I guess I will take the time to sit back and relax for a bit before flipping on a new page.